Mamazina Blog

CAN YOU FEEL IT?

Take five minutes out of your life, and put a REAL smile on your face.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

Pamela Vanden Bos, Managing Editor

Visit my website  http://pvbos.com

TURN THE OTHER CHEEK

I know better. Really I do!  Heck, I was raised in a family that shoved the fear of God down our throats. So, when I think of this expression that comes from the New Testament, in which Jesus tells his followers to love their enemies and offer their other cheek to those who have struck one cheek (Luke 6:29), trust me, I completely ‘get’ it.

However, to understand my predicament, you must realize that I have seven fluffy marshmallow white dogs, with angelic ebony eyes, black ink lined lips, and shiny leather button noses. These regal miniature dust mops run rampant throughout my house and weigh between 4-7 pounds.  Moreover, one of them is a wrongdoer.

Because, whenever I start to walk out the front door, one of those pedigreed mongrels inevitably targets my derriere, bestowing me with a stinging love nip. Ya-ouch!

I’ve tried twirling around quickly to discipline the culprit, only to spy seven dogs in a semi circle; some are standing at attention looking at me with adoring bright eyes, others are simply licking pampered paws or a mate’s ear. Talk about frustrating. I’m telling you, one of these ingenuous little darlings, just bit me right in the bum.

This is not the first time I’ve been nipped in the hinnie.  Although, the trouble I seem to have, is trying to recognize the offender. So now, as I groom the designer dogs, I’ve changed up their hairstyles. The boys have shorter fur, shaved heads and a goatee or handlebar mustache. (They look manly.) The girls have longer hair, flowing tail feathers and delicately defined bangs. No matter what, I make sure each pup is identifiably different.

Okay, I’m ready for a test drive. Pretending to leave, I grab my purse and car keys, casually opening the front door. I hear the click-click of tiny toenails as commotion erupts behind me. I feel a barb. I whirl just in time to see; three dogs do a crossover-switch figure-eight exercise.  This is pathetic; they obviously have been practicing, and have out maneuvered me.

Frankly, I don’t have any options left. So today, as I leave the house, I slowly stumble through the doorway…backwards.  Protecting my backside is my main concern however; I do enjoy giving my little hellions the evil eye on the way out.

Sincerely, I’m all for the ‘concept’ of turning the other cheek.  Nevertheless, in this house, I am not offering my other cheek, because, I know it’s gonna bite me in the arse.

For more stories that are humorous, visit my website: pvbos.com

~Pamela Vanden Bos, Managing Editor~

You Are Cordially Invited...by Maureen Locher

You are cordially invited to my new Web site ~ www.MaureenLocher.com. And you don’t even have to bring a present. Don’t have to R.S.V.P. Don’t have to dress up. Sweats, pajamas – it’s all fine surfing apparel. Bunny slippers optional.

 

Who? All moms invited – writer types as well as reader types. Reading is required!

 

What? A Web site offering a moment’s peace – advertisement-free. I want you to read my words, not make a buck from your reading my words. Now once my book is published that’s another story…but for now I simply want your company.

 

Where? A click away at www.MaureenLocher.com.

 

Why? Because all moms need TLC. They need to slow their rollercoaster long enough to refuel. I offer moms a three minute retreat link which will center you and get you thinking about your purpose in the grand scheme of life. Are you a mom of little ones, or is your nest a bit roomier as your birdies fly the coop? I’m in that middle ground. I call myself a Tweeny Mom – none of my own munchkins running around anymore but no grandchildren looming on the horizon yet. I have some time to breathe…and write…and think. Are you jealous? Don’t be. One short year ago I was not a happy camper, began writing my manuscript as a way to cope, and am soon pitching said manuscript to a publisher! Life is looking up!

 

I want your life to look up too. I want you to discover your purpose in life if you’re not quite sure of it yet, or if that purpose is shifting as mine has. I firmly believe we all have our own distinct reasons to be on this planet. Come visit. Share your own Mom Moments with other readers, and enjoy mine.

 

When? As often as you wish. How 'bout now? Or tonight during the Super Bowl? But don’t miss half-time ~ Springsteen’s singing! I promise fresh material to keep you coming back.

 

Lastly, a million thanks to MWLM’s own Karrie McAllister for her technical expertise in designing my new site.

 

I look forward to meeting you all!

 

*****

 

Maureen is copy editor and columnist for Mom Writer’s Literary Magazine, and the mother of four sons.

To Infinity and Beyond

“Mommy, are mommies born knowing how to take care of babies?” said my kindergartner as I wrestled her one-year-old sister into jammies.

“Not exactly.  We have certain natural feelings that help mommies know they want to keep a baby safe and warm, but no we are not born knowing how to change a diaper, if that’s what you mean.”

“So how do you learn?”

“Well, for thousands of years women passed information like this along to their daughters and granddaughters when they became mommies.”

“Well who taught the grandmas?”

“Their grandmas.”

“And who taught them?  Who taught the first people?”

“Um.  I guess the first people just kept trying things over and over until they got it right.”

And so goes the latest example of my daughter’s curiosity about the nature of What Came First.

The conversation got even trickier with my husband.  She wanted to know all about evolution and the origin of life.  This came after reading Navajo legends of Kokopeli and the Ant People.

“What came before people?” she asked.  “And what came before that?  And before that?  And before that?” 

And so on, back to the beginning of time.  Jeff finally ended the talk with “Once there was a big blob of mud that had electricity in it and that became life.”  It was the best he could do on such short notice and without going into the Big Bang Theory and its inherent fears of infernal explosions.

These are Big Questions involving the nature of God, the Universe, and Infinity.  I remember blathering on about these same curiosities on one ponderously long car ride until my mom finally shut me up with, “Honey, your grandpa told me that people smarter than us have gone crazy trying to answer these questions.”  She blew my little mind, and left me gaping out the window at the expansive west Texas sunset, but I found comfort in knowing that I did not grapple in solitude.

Now, how to handle my daughter’s Big Questions? She’s too young for the Rite of Passage class at our church—a special program designed for third graders full of similar inquiry—or else I might gladly pass the buck over to Sunday school.

As it is, we are watering down our own admittedly blurry answers to some pretty tough questions.  Philosophers and theologians spend their entire lives just trying to formulate the right questions, let alone finding the answers.  So how do two laypersons pull it off?

I guess like many contemporary parents, we encourage the journey.  Help find books, art, and music to inspire.  Continue to take part in our free-thinking community of faith.  And remind her that it’s okay to not have all the answers.

--Robin Dutton-Cookston is senior editor at Mom Writer's Literary Magazine. Learn about her book and more at The Foggiest Idea

Our Family’s Holiday Traditions That Are Traditional and Less So

I’m writing from our vacation here in West Texas, as we are gearing up for the Big C.  So I’d like to take a moment to share some of our family’s holiday traditions.  I like to think that these special rituals blend our Texas heritage and our San Francisco lifestyle.  Take a peek and see what you think. 

 
Christmas Traditions:

 
Driving around looking at gaudy holiday lights.

 
Listening to barfy 80s musicians butcher Christmas classics on KOIT.

 
Debating the inherent ethnocentricity of a certain 80s original Christmas classic -- Of course they don’t know it’s Christmastime in Africa!  They are probably not Christian, you morons!

 
Building (and collapsing) a cheap store-bought gingerbread house kit with my mom, aka NanaLove.

 
Participating in the children’s Christmas pageant, which for some reason is called a “tableau” at our SF church.

 
Eating chili made from deer meat harvested by my own intrepid hunter-father. (That one’s definitely a Texas tradition.)

 
Giving and getting new cozy jammies.

 
TiVo-ing A Charlie Brown Christmas and Rudolph.  This differs from my 70s and 80s childhood when we scheduled our entire week around being planted in front of CBS at exactly 7pm on Sunday night to catch the blessed programs.

 
Learning about other faith traditions: spinning the dreidel for Hanukah; dancing in a circle to honor the Holly King (December 21 is Winter Solstice by the way).

 
Bumming out that we missed catching the Christmas performance by the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus for yet another year.  Perhaps when the kids are older and they can sit still for longer than 10 minutes we will make it.

 
Wearing shorts in the morning and a parka by dinnertime.  (Another Texas thang, although it could easily transfer to the Bay Area.)

 
Watching my loved ones experience the joy and beauty of Christmas morning.

--Robin Dutton-Cookston is senior editor at Mom Writer's Literary Magazine...and other stuff too.