Mamazina Blog

Find My Family

"Find My Family" is a new show on ABC.  I watched the preview of it last week and found myself hooked.  The premise of the show is that they want to reconnect family members together.  The preview wast story of a biological mom who wanted to find her daughter who she gave up.  She and the birth father stayed together and had three more children together. 

And the part I liked best is that the Tim Green along with his co-host both went through the experience themselves.  So when they stand with a birth mother or an adopted child, they are a bit teary themselves knowing what it is like to have that experience.

But there are two possible endings to every story. I know from my experience with others going thru journey, that some people do not want to be found. I am guessing that "Find My Family " will not show this kind of story. 

Meanwhile, I pause at this time of the year and reflect myself. A seventeen-year-old girl was pregnant and had to make a difficult choice.  Should she keep her child or offer it a different family because she was too young to raise a baby?  Would she want to be found by the show "Find My Family"?  These are questions that I contemplate almost every year.  I will be doing it while I watch the new show.

Kathy Schlaeger lives near Cincinnati, Ohio with her husband and three daughters. 

Take Care of Yourself for Me

Whether you are looking for a loving relationship or if you are already in one, the best thing you can do for the relationship as well as for your friends, your employer, and your family, is to take care of yourself.

 

I recently read a story of a colleague who lost his 41 year old son because, although he didn't feel well, he refused to visit his doctor. This was an unnecessary loss from an undiagnosed - and quite serious - medical condition that could have been easily corrected and managed once identified.

 

And now his family - his wife and child - as well as all who knew him are trying to adjust to life without his presence.

 

Unfortunately, this is a common story. You know something is wrong but for whatever reason, you resist doing what in your heart you know you need to do.

 

It doesn't have to be about your health. It can show up in a myriad of ways when we choose to ignore our inner voice. Any time you feel angry or upset but choose to stuff it rather than acknowledge it and face it, you are not honoring yourself; you are not taking care of yourself.

The greatest gift you can give to mankind - and to yourself - is to learn to honor yourself.

 

You are the most important person in your life.

~ The Journey Called YOU

 

Why is it so difficult to take care of yourself?

·     You struggle accepting that something could be wrong with you. It shouldn't happen; you should always be healthy.

·     You hope it will go away.

·     You're scared of having to deal with something unknown, something new.

·     You live in denial, dancing around the "elephant in the room" trying to escape and avoid rather than face reality.

·     You don't let people care about you when they ask you to seek medical attention.

·     You have difficulty and feel guilty when calling out of work when you are clearly ill and need to be home.

·     You haven't seen a doctor in years, haven't had blood work or vaccines.

·     You hate the idea of lab coats and blood and needles... and any other excuse you can come up with.

Whatever your reason, whatever story you tell yourself, the adult thing to do is to take care of yourself first before you can take care of others.

Without you, you have nothing. If you cease to exist or if you can no longer care for yourself, then you cannot enjoy being with your family, friends, kids, work...

 

Do Unto Yourself as You Do Unto Others.

~ The Journey Called YOU

Caring for yourself is quite simple. It means getting in a habit of caring about your physical, emotional, and mental well being. Small steps taken regularly add up. Here are three simple steps to get started:

 

1) Get into integrity. Take responsibility for yourself, your happiness, your body, your current state of affairs. Stop rationalizing your life through your "story," playing into your own drama, or living in denial and avoidance. Become proactive rather than reactive. Face your reality - the good and the challenging. If you need help, call me. That's what coaches are for, helping you deal with the tough stuff.

 

2) Visit your doctor once a year. If you have never gone or haven't been to one in years, schedule your appointment right now for as soon as possible. Don't delay! Visit your dentist twice a year. You know what they say: Ignore your teeth and they'll go away.

3) Be good to yourself. Treat yourself and your body with loving-kindness and respect. After all, you can only experience YOUR life, no one elses. You are responsible for the quality of your life experience. No one else can do it for you.

To be in a relationship, I want for you to take care of you for me, and in turn, I will be responsible and take care of me for you. That way together, we enjoy the best of each other.

Want a free coaching session? Contact me at Julie@NurturingYourSuccess.com to schedule 30-minutes this week!

 

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie ~ Nurturing Your Success

 

A Boy Above

I am thankful for my son. He is beautiful, strong, funny, and full of potential. Whatever he does, he does with such energy and verve the very air around him becomes charged. Indeed, whatever Max gets into he puts 110% of himself into it.

But that can be a problem. See, Max is a little too much of everything. He's stronger than other kids his age. He's a little taller, a bit more intense, just a tad too rough, and much, much busier. He is operating on a level that exhausts him--and us--day and night.

In my last entry I pondered whether Max is "more" of everything because he is a boy. Several evaluations and assessments later I am realizing the ness in his boy is exaggerated because he has an excessive amount of energy. This causes him to act crazy. He does things like try to run as far from mommy and daddy as possible; he jumps off of anything he can get on top of; he slides down our large stair case; he touches everything all the time; he pushes kids for inexplicable reasons; he runs, always runs whereever he is going; and he literally cannot stand still while getting dressed (or ever, it seems!).

So far we do not have an ADHD diagnosis (he can pay attention and follow directions), not on the autism spectrum (he is very social and affectionate)  but rather something called "hyperkinetic disorder." Ever heard of it? Me neither. Good luck trying to find any substantial information on this condition! But I've been reading whatever I can get my hands and eyes on and what I know causes me to wonder what the world must seem like to my busy little boy. Does he experience the world in fast motion? Slow motion? Is he constantly frustrated because he can get from A to B in .5 seconds while it takes the rest of the world a full minute to get to where he's headed?

We are in the early stages of our investigation into how to improve our little man's life, but I will share with those of you who have hyperactive kids the one super secret special tip that has saved our lives: an indoor trampoline. Whenever our little superhero gets full of himself and puffed up on his big, yet dangerous ideas we send him to jump. Tantrum? Jump! Frustrated? Jump! Overstimulated? Jump!

Jumping it out puts Max on an even keel with the rest of us. He gets to be in control of his movements in a focused, safe activity while still interacting with us and avoiding time-outs. Everybody wins! He burns off energy, we don't get hit by an airborne toy fire truck, and he stops hearing, "no, stop that, time-out, be gentle, etc." every 5 seconds. Having the trampoline allows us to positively redirect our son so that he doesn't always feel bad or wrong.

Plus, Max gets to be--above and beyond everything else--totally Max.

____________________________________

Claire Kreger-Boaz is a really cool wife and mother as well as the City Ambassador for San Diego MomsLikeMe.com

High School Musical 2

Marta Calero

 

He disfrutado de la maternidad inmensamente. Soy una  mamá de

 

dos niños adorables, una niña de cinco años y un niño de tres. Junto

 

Con el profundo amor, que lleñò mi vida con la maternidad, llegó

 

también el abandono hacia mi misma. Físicamente, mentalmente y

 

emocionalmente. ! ¡Yo me olvidé de mi marido tambien! Siempre he

 

sido muy optimista, de algún modo u otro, esperaba ver la luz; y aun

 

en las peores situaciones, supe agradecer los buenos momentos y

 

valorar en su medida: mis bendiciones.¡Feliz, porque mi familia y yo,

 

tenìamos salud, la protección de un techo sobre nuestra cabezas y

 

alimentos en la mesa! Para mi, eso era suficiente

 

Algo sucedió dentro de mi, en estos últimos dos años, quizás hayan

 

sido mis cambios hormonales, que me arrastraban hacia una nueva

 

etapa de mi vida, con cambios fisicos y emocionales. Problemas

 

matrimoniales, financieros, me hicieron preguntarme, qué puedo

 

hacer, para proveerle todo a mis niños?

Yo siempre pensé que mi vida sería extraordinaria. De alguna

 

manera yo sentía que había pagado mis derechos con tristezas

 

después de perder a mi mamá, mi padre y mi madrina antes de la

 

edad de veintiuno. Soñé ...ser una cantante exitosa, escribir

 

canciones que inspirarían a otras personas y levantarían su espíritu,

 

 

ayudar otros en sus momentos amargos a no perder la fé ni rendir 

 

sus fuerzas.Pensé, que sería capaz de sostener financieramente a

 

mi familia, en Cuba, Miami y ahora en NYC. Quizá mis metas eran

 

desproporcionadas, pero hubo un tiempo en mi vida, que esos

 

sueños parecieron tener razón para existir y pude casi acariciarlos

 

con mis manos. Un día, me miré en el espejo y no reconocí quién yo

 

había llegado a ser. ¿Soy una gran mamá, yo pensé,-cómo puedo

 

sentirme tan triste y decepcionada conmigo  misma, si he sido

 

bendecida con dos niños tan bellos, Y he podido disfrutar cada

 

momento de mí vida con ellos?

Estaba triste y no podía sacudirme esa tristeza, sabia que había

 

atravesado muchos obstáculos durante los ultimos tres años, que

 

eran razón suficiente para sentirme triste. La persona optimista que

 

habita en mí, no podía permitir ni aceptar que me sintiera tan

 

desilusionada. ¡Había golpeado el fondo! Necesitaba un cambio pero

 

no sabía cómo lograrlo. Para cuidar de mí, mi ser, mi cuerpo y mente.

 

Yo me preguntaría cada mañana". ¿Cómo puedo recrear mi vida?

Escribí en mi agenda todo lo que debía hacer, forjé un plan, pero no

 

lo llevaría hasta el final. Entonces, un día que estuve en la casa de

 

mi sobrina, ví la película- High School Musical 2. Me encantó,

 

absolutamente la adoré y disfruté tanto  como mi sobrina de siete

 

años de edad. Volví a casa y me di cuenta de que  tenia esta película

 

en mi gabinete, en las siguientes cinco semanas, probablemente ví

 

la pelicula  cuatro veces. Mi cuñada me hizo una copia de las

 

canciones me encantó la mayor parte y he disfrutado escuchando la

 

música con mis niños prácticamente cada día. ¡Saltar en mi cama,

 

cantando con nuestro “micrófono de princesa”.

¿Por qué me gustó la película tanto? Me remontó atrás en el tiempo

 

a cuando tuve dieciocho años. Cuánto adoré cantar y bailar y cómo

 

me cuidaba! Me llevó atrás a un lugar donde todo fue posible, a mis

 

primeros triunfos, mi primer amorsito- a las primeras mariposas en el

 

estomago. Sentía esos sentimientos tan intensamente. Pensé, cuán

 

afortunado y maravilloso haber tenido la oportunidad de bailar y

 

cantar con un ramo de amigos. Hacer lo que usted adora es un

 

regalo. Eso es lo que aspiro.

Para ser honesta, con tanto que ha sucedido yo no tengo la energía

 

para mí pero ahora sé que si cuido de mi misma, seré una mejor

 

mamá  y el modelo a imitar para mis niños, una mejor mujer, amiga

 

y ser humano.

Sé, que no tengo ya dieciocho y he vivido la realidades de la vida.

 

Pero me pregunto, ¿ Por qué no? ¿Cómo puedo crear  alegría y

 

amor en el corazón para mi  misma ? ¿Cómo puedo creer otra vez,

 

cuando la oscuridad ha entrado en mi vida? Yo todavía no sé cómo

 

recuperarme, pero he comenzado ya, con pequeños pasos.

EL primer paso- Me he registrado para una clase de baile de hip hop

 

y jazz, una vez a la semana, para mover el cuerpo que se siente

 

tenso. Comenzaré con esto y les mantendré al tanto en mi

 

transformación a vivir mi vida con alegría, fe y esperanza. Con me

 

renacimiento!

 

 

WHAT WE'RE THANKFUL FOR

What are you thankful for today? (It's a prompt if you want it to be.)

This year, I polled everyone at MaMaZina about what they were thankful for on Thanksgiving. I knew I would get a mish-mosh, a treasure of diverse responses. Things our staff jotted down and sent to me in a hurry, and things they thought about as they went to bed at night. 

If you read our magazine and blog, you know that our families, children, and motherhood are significant in our subject matter. Motherhood is literary because it runs on love, similar to our writing endeavors. Of course we, every one of us, are thankful every day for our fam’s. They put up with us when we, staring at our computer screens with puzzled looks, or typing away speedily on our keyboards, yell “One more minute!!!”

To say that we are grateful for them, well, it needs no saying. What does need saying are the other things that may get lost, or never be said if you end that pleasant but brief conversation with someone when you are really about to get to now them. That point in a dialogue when someone is about to reveal something that you were meant to hear, that tidbit of information that will stick with you for reasons you can't explain, that hook in someone's true-life story. I believe that the best material and most substance is in what’s not obviously stated, so I asked what everyone is thankful for in addition to their families. 

Here is what I got...

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I'm thankful for central heating on chilly days. For neighbors who clip swags of rosemary from the bush in my yard and return the favor with caramel popcorn for my kids. For underpaid, over-worked, yet still-smiling inner city public school teachers. I'm thankful for public transportation and clean city-funded playgrounds. For curly-haired children who screech on the curvy slide. I'm thankful for locally-owned movie theaters with vintage organs played by elderly gentlemen before the show starts. For small, stinky, independent booksellers. For jittery shots of coffee and hot pots of soup.  I'm thankful for small, chubby grabs, for slender 6-year-old fingers, and for warm caresses from larger hands after the alarm rings each morning. For the gentle embrace of the universe each time I fall and its nudge in the right direction each time I ask for grace.

Robin Dutton-Cookston 

Senior Editor and Columnist, MaMaZina (Formerly Mom Writer's Literary Magazine) 

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I'm thankful for Star Trek which will be quite obvious after my blog post.

I'm thankful for my quirky creative girls who are always a changing cast of characters from one day to the next. You'd never know their mother was a writer. ; )

Veronica Hosking

Poetry Editor, MaMaZina

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In our family we have a "Gratitude Tree," which is today just a brown paper

cut out of a tree on a bulletin board. Back in 2003 when I started this, it

was an actual (faux) potted tree on which we hung leaves. On the leaves we

(or I, before my kids could read or write) wrote what we are grateful for. I

have all of our original leaves on the bulletin-board tree now, as well as

many from friends who have stopped in (I keep leaves and markers and

pushpins handy). It is interesting to see how the leaves have changed

throughout the years, but some things stay the same. We have multiples of

"home," "family," "friends," "God," "food" and "love." I am always thankful

for my job, too, and so many other wonderful blessings in my life.

My mother passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at this time last year and

one thing I learned from her which manifested itself through that experience

is that you can still find plenty to be grateful for, even in times of great

sorrow or adversity.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Caroline B. Poser, Author

Columnist, MaMaZina

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I'm thankful for the amazing women I've met through the blogging community! And chocolate.

Mary McCarthy (@marymac)

blog: Pajamas and Coffee 

Natural Mama Editor, MaMaZina

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As some of you may already know, this year has been especially rough for us 

(me and my family) because we lost Rudy's mother in August and in early 

November we found out that my dad has prostate cancer. In keeping with what 

Caroline just said in her email...it is important in times of struggle to 

find things to be thankful for. I am thankful for modern medicine which 

allowed us to spend 10 days in the ICU with my mother-in-law, saying proper 

Goodbyes and preparing ourselves for her inevitable death from an 

incurable, degenerative disease...I am also thankful for modern medicine 

which is currently indicating that with hormone therapy and radiation 

therapy, my wonderful, active, 74-year-old dad will most likely be able to 

rid his body of this cancer and remain with us for several more years.

Lucie Bouchard Antoniazzi

Columnist, MaMaZina

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1. Nobody loves me like my mom does. This love which springs straight from her soul is the nearest I will ever get to perfection until I die. Last week one of my brothers was visiting my parents when I arrived. After my mom’s greeting to me he remarked, “Gee, I never get that response.” No. No one does. Just me. And I love it.

2. For an instant each Sunday morning, a friend who sings in the church choir grabs my attention with a smile that bull’s eyes straight through to my flak-jacketed heart. And I smile back wholeheartedly.

3. In today’s e-mail from a friend – her last sentence, and I quote, “Hang in there with your family of men – that is why you are crazy, you know.” It is true. Undeniably true. Five men versus one me has affected me in more ways than I’ll ever fully understand. However, lately, one son in particular, can zero in on my mood, and give me exactly what I need. We are on the same wavelength. And if only for snippets, every so often, I crave that momentary soul mate.

4. And then there are my friends who never let me down. The constants to whom I may complain or brag, laugh or scream. It doesn’t matter. Like God, they love me—warts and all.

Maureen Locher

Copyeditor, MaMaZina

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I am thankful God loves me.

In 2000 I went into renal failure after being diagnosed with Lupus.

Nine girlfriends and family members underwent testing to see if they might be a match for a much needed kidney transplant.

The closest match came from my oldest girlfriend, Pam. We met in church when we were 12 years old.

We were Girl Scouts together, sang in the choir together and belonged to the church youth group together.

Now we're bonded in even deeper ways than words can say.

November 30th marks nine years with Pam's kidney in my side.

I am thankful for many things, and have been blessed with much, but more than anything else, I wake up everyday and feel genuine gratitude for the fact that God is all around and blesses us with miracles great and small.

Joy Rose

Co-Founder and Publisher, MaMaZina

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I'm THANKFUL for my healthy children. I count my blessings everyday. I'm also THANKFUL for 

my business partner Joy Rose and my entire team at MaMaZina Magazine!  MOMS ROCK!

Paula Schmitt

Co-Founder and Director, Mamazina

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Right now I am looking around my house at all of of our Hanukkah decorations that are up. First night of Hanukkah this year is December 11 and we celebrate the holiday for eight nights. And while that seems like a lot of nights to see everyone, once you begin to begin to fill in the dates on the calendar, it's almost impossible to fit it all in. To have so many wonderful friends that we want to spend this holiday season with, for that I am grateful.

Happy Holidays to everyone.

Kathy Schlaeger

Reviews Editor, MaMaZina

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When it comes to being thankful, I of course hit the big ones.  My health, my kids, my husband, his job, my job, my home, my family.

I would be crazy not to recognize all of these great things in my life.

But as much as life as big and grandiose, it's also small and everyday.  And when it comes to being thankful, I'd like to take time to recognize a few of the tiny things that have made me exclaim "thank Goodness!" over the past few days.

- My son's birthday presents came on time.  Thank you, mail serivce.

- We barely made our connecting flight in Atlanta.  Thank you, universal delays.

- My sore throat was not strep.  Thank you, non-strep bacteria.

- My baby slept in the other day and I drank a cup of coffee while it was still warm.  Thank you, cozy warm blankets.

And the list goes on... anti-wrinkle anti-blemish cream, 24-hour commercial free cartoons, free shipping, the good parking spot at the grocery store, cashing in a free coffee coupon on a day when fate knew I needed the large.  I don't want to forget the little things that make me smile, because we need those little smiles every day of the year.

Karrie McAllister

Webmaster and Columnist, MaMaZina

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I couldn't think of 1 thing that meant so much to me besides my family and I was unhappy with the challenges that I have had throughout the passed 3 years. Then on Sunday I went to the Sacred Center Church, in NYC. It's a place that I have wanted to go for years. Between having my children back to back and challenges alone the way I forgot about me. A big part of me was always reflected through my inner spirit.

Being in tuned with myself and my higher power had always kept me grounded.  I feel so thankful this Thanksgiving for going to Sacred Center- It's the beginning of me re-connecting with my spirit and soul. There was 2 beautiful passages that I heard on Sunday; I AM, it was a breathtaking meditation with an amazing choir singing I AM glorious and the other passage was," Where is the road that I have lost to lead me back."

Before going to Sacred Center I felt I was missing something, that I had lost a part of me.  I realized that it's all inside of me-I just stopped tuning in to my inner guidance. I am so thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving to all,

Marta

Marta Calero

Hispanic Writer/Editor, MaMaZina

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Me, hmmmmmm. I am thankful for the things throughout each day that make my heart stop, beat faster, or steadily. I am thankful for my stocked pantry, the way my favorite pillow knows how to curl just right under my head, volunteer lavender plants and my year-round, fragrant basil and lemon verbena. I am thankful for the last (two) minute tenacity of Philip Rivers, my worn-in, comfie brown boots and the night sky. I am thankful for my community, the crowds that show up to cheer on their kids, and I wish this for every child in the world. I am thankful for my team. I’d be lost without them.

Samantha Gianulis

Editor-in-Chief, MaMaZina

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!

Thanksgiving is for me

Easter has its chocolate
Brought by the Easter Bunny,
Summer holidays have their BBQ's
And the weather's always sunny.

Christmas keeps us hopping
With the lights and gifts and tree,
But for all the year's holidays,
Thanksgiving is for me.

The entire day is based around
A table full of food.
The turkey roasting in the morning
Puts us all in a spirited mood.

Parades and pies and pumpkins,
And football on TV,
I've got dibs on that there turkey leg
Because Thanksgiving is for me.

We gather with our family,
WIth our neighbors and our friends.
We eat until we're overstuffed...
And then we eat again.

We laze around and all play games
And the dishes we let be,
Because today's about togetherness
And Thanksgiving is for me.

There's no fancy decorations,
No special clothes or flowered hats,
There's no exchange of anything
Except saturated fats.

Instead we get together
And celebrate with company
The great food and love that we all share.
Thanksgiving is for me.

So keep your Labor and Memorial Days,
Your St. Patrick's and Valentines, too.
I'll be on the couch with leftovers,
And I'll save a spot for you.

Because just as the Pilgrims and Indians
Shared with all their hearts,
I give you the peace of Thanksgiving...
Before the rush of Christmas starts.

-Karrie McAllister